A Tough Time

Hey everyone! I thought it might be about time for me to write again. I haven't been writing because honestly I have been struggling a little bit with me. This transition in being a stay a home mom has been tough. I love the fact that I can stay home, but it is hard not working outside the home. I miss all of the interaction with my coworkers(friends). I still don't know very many people, so I don't do much. I have notice that depression has hit me, so days not too bad and other pretty hard. Even though I know I am where God wants me to be it hard. I have tried from time to time to snap out of it, not so easy. My desire is to be a better mom & wife, but I have let depression interfere. I write this now to you and ask that you would pray for me. I need to take every day one at a time and just embrace it. Embrace the privilege of being where we are and what God is doing or going to do.

Well, I had started this blog a couple of days ago and didn't have the chance to finish. Since I began writing on my struggles it has helped to see what I need to do. I don't have it down yet, wouldn't it be nice if I did. I think looking at myself and knowing what I am doing to avoiding things has helped me. I realized I have avoided calling some of my family and my friends, because if I don't call I don't have to think so much about how much I miss them. How dumb is that. So, I am sorry to all who I have not called, but please understand it isn't because I don't miss and love you, it is purely selfishness on my part. I know recognizing it is part of the solution. The last couple of days have gone a bit better. Ben & I had a long talk the other night about it all and that helped. He is so wonderful. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband/friend.

In all that, I have not been taking care of my body. Trust me it isn't a pretty sight. I don't put myself together each day, just throw my hair in a ponytail and go (don't even bother with make up). Since recognizing this I have made an attempt to put myself together more. Megan & I have been working out the last couple of weeks on and off since she is off track until Tuesday. This has been fun for both of us. I had started tracking my calorie intake. Well, not the last couple of days. I need to do that. My plan is continue with all of the good things for my body. I also want to set an example for my kids how important it is to take care of yourself. So, why do I tell you all of this? Because I know I need help. Would you please pray for me in my struggles? I want to glorify God with every part of my life and right now my focus is on my body or should I say the Holy Spirit's dwelling place. That is almost hard to say especially since I have failed to take care of it. To think the Holy Spirit dwelling in me and me not caring enough to take care of it. That is not good. My goal is to be faithful in my workouts and in watching my calorie intake daily and simple to put myself together daily. Please help me by praying and encouraging me with this. I figure if I have accountability from you I am more apt to do better. Thank you all for listening to me. This is very therapeutic.

Know that I do pray for my family and friends even though you don't hear much from me. I miss and love you all!